


family game night

by AslansCompass



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21981802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: "The sky is grey, the tea is cold, and a new tragedy lies around every corner". Missy and her prior self play Gloom with the UNIT teams, both old and new. Well, maybe  "with" isn't the right term.  More like "to." Because, honestly,  an actual human game based on creating misery and killing people? How can they resist?
Kudos: 17
Collections: Classic Who Secret Santa 2019





	family game night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mistress-carnage](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mistress-carnage).



> I seem incapable of writing serious fic for Three and his associates. Last year for Secret Santa it was Jo destroying Omega with a cup of tea; this year it's Missy and the Master playing Gloom.

Really, what was the point of letting one's best friend imprison you for centuries if he never came to visit ? Oh, sure, he sent the bowling ball down with bread and water once or twice a decade, but that was just simple humanitarianism. Basic decency, from his point of view.

At least she'd managed to set up communication to the outside world. Only locally, from a strict chronological stance; ran the risk of bootstrap paradox, but she wasn't interested in escaping, oh no. Missy was **bored**.

"Shall we play a game?" 

The reply came even before she'd finished typing. There were advantages to being on the receiving end of slow-path messages. 

"I'm unfortunately restricted at this point. "

Oh, that one. "So am I." 

> The goal of the game is sad, but simple: you want your characters to suffer the greatest tragedies possible before passing on to the well-deserved respite of death.

They quickly set down to business. Missy claimed Kate, Osgood, Carter, Shindi, and Bishop; the Master took the Brig, Jo, Benton, Yates, and Faraday. There was a brief commiseration over the unavailability of the Doctor for the game (honestly, what is the point?), but Missy pointed out that hurting his pets was almost as fun, since it left him alive to suffer.

The Master went first, setting a "Memory Mangled" card on Jo for -15 points. 

> You saw nothing.
> 
> I saw nothing.
> 
> You will return to headquarters with this device and set it off.
> 
> I will return to headquarters with this device and set it off.

Child's play. Missy pulled out "Pulverized by Plastic" for Carter. giving him -20 points. The Nestenes strapped him to a table and pierced his bones with dozens of needles. Molten plastic flowed into his body, encasing his skeleton. Carter screamed in pain. 

"Innovative," the Master remarked. "But lacking in complexity."

"Let's see you do better."

"Certainly." He flickered through his cards. Terrifying Pterodactyls? Dubious Dopplegangers? Atrocious Alias? And who to use it on? Benton? The Brig? 

"Having trouble?" 

The Master grabbed 'Dubious Dopplegangers' and tossed it onto the Brig. "A experimental drilling rig opens a gateway to an alternate reality, complete with versions of our favorite team."

"Very nice, dearie, but it still only applies to one character."

"And since when have we followed the rules?" All cards received-10 points.

"Oh, this is getting boring," Missy yawned. She slapped a 'Sudden Death' on Osgood. "Got Too Close to a dangerous prisoner and poof, toosh, it's over."

"Not quite. Hidden Backup Twin." The Master set another card on his opponent's side. 

"Really?"

"Prior to her death, Miss Osgood helped negotiate a peace treaty with Zygons. As part of said treaty, at least one Zygon joined UNIT as an operative."

"Hmm...." Missy bit her lip. "Fair enough."

The cards flew thick and fast. Captured by Cavemen. Hounded by History. Attacked by Aliens. Secrets Slipped. But despite both players' best efforts, only one character was killed off: Faraday, with a measly -5 Stunned by Strangeness, dead by Ricocheted Rounds. 

Someone knocked on Missy's door. "Busy, love."

"It's me."

The Doctor? Missy set down her cards instantly.

"Everything alright?" the Master asked.

"Mind if I call a tea break?" Missy dodged the question. "Back in a few."

"A tea break?" The Master rolled his eyes. "Fine, I suppose." He shoved the cards under his cot. Instead, he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a few odds and ends. Maybe he could finally fix that de-materialization circuit. 

**Author's Note:**

> Missy's team is all members of the Big Finish New UNIT audio series. Delgado's team is from the televised series (yes, even Faraday. I needed a fifth and just picked a name from the wiki list of UNIT members.)


End file.
